What they don’t tell you about becoming a mama

Hey guys,

I have been reflecting on all those people who “warned” me about the difficulties of having a baby and how that put a dampener on looking forward to becoming a mother. You know, those well-meaning old people in the supermarket giving out unsolicited advice while you are 9 months pregnant. The people thought they were doing me a favour in telling me all the crappy things that come with parenthood. I’ll admit, since being a mama I’ve done it too. But instead of feeling confident entering motherhood – I felt fear.

Is being a parent really as bad as they say it is?

On social media I see so many posts about how difficult motherhood is, and how it’s okay to not enjoy it. How it’s normal to regret it and want your old life back. And I’m sure it is. But I have a confession to make… I love being a mother (*gasp*) and I don’t regret having a baby at all. If I can do it, anyone can, honestly.

Sure, the first couple months were an absolute disaster (giving birth, postpartum sepsis, Blake having colic, etc) and I had no idea what I was doing. Now that the dust has settled, I’m able to reflect on my journey becoming a mama over the past 6 months and admit that I actually enjoy it.

I know, I’m still shocked about that too.

They tell you about the pain of giving birth.

They warn you about the sleepless nights and the endless dirty nappies.

They warn you about the resentment you’ll feel toward your partner at 3am while you watch them sleep peacefully.

They tell you about the relentlessness of caring for a baby. The never-ending, 24/7 effort that it takes to raise a tiny human being.

They tell you how hard it is.

They tell you how much you will miss out on. That parties, festivals, dinners, travel, are now a thing of the past. Spontaneous decisions made on a whim are no longer an option.

They tell you that life as you know it is over.

And that is all true.

but…

They don’t tell you that having a child cracks your heart wide open. That you will feel a love that knows no boundaries or limits.

They don’t tell you that you will look at your partner in awe and gratitude as they grow into their new and important role of being a daddy.

They don’t tell you that you will get to wake up every single morning to a drooling smiley face that loves you unconditionally.

They don’t tell you how amazing it is hearing that first giggle after months of endless crying and pooping. They are happy, and it turns out you weren’t such a terrible mama after all. They don’t tell you that just listening to them laugh makes you laugh too.

They don’t tell you that you will become the best version of yourself. A version that might not brush your hair everyday, but one that is softer, more ambitious, organised, understanding and loving.

They don’t tell you that you will enjoy sitting on the floor, babbling and laughing for hours with this little miracle that you made. Or that you will love walking to the park and sitting on the grass with your baby just watching the world go by.

They don’t tell you that you will no longer sweat the small stuff. Whether it’s a messy house, the fact you haven’t showered in a few days, or you woke up four times last night. Who cares, tomorrow is a new day and all that matters is your baby is healthy and happy.

They don’t tell you how much your child will teach you about yourself and the world around you.

They don’t tell you that you might just love being a parent. That all the hard moments are nothing compared to the love and happiness you feel for this amazing human being you created.