Postpartum Series: Dani
In our third interview for the postpartum series, I am bringing you an interview with Dani Hick. Dani is a mama in her 20’s who lives in New Zealand.
We discuss all things postpartum, and Dani shares her advice for new mamas.
Hi Dani! Thank you so much for joining me in an interview about your postpartum experience.
Let’s start by introducing yourself and your little family…
Hi I’m Dani, I’ve been married to my amazing husband Jesse for almost 3 years & we welcomed our beautiful baby girl Belle Louise in July.
Our baby girl is 4 months old and growing way too fast! We lost my grandad shortly after she was born and named her after his mother which was pretty special. She is part Māori and NZ European and I am secretly hoping she gets Jesse’s mothers beautiful complexion. Belle has spent majority of her life in lockdown so initially she was pretty sensitive when meeting people. She is getting so much more confident now and is such a happy, chatty little girl.
Can you tell us about giving birth to Belle, and your subsequent postpartum recovery?
Birth was such an incredible experience that I am so grateful for. Seriously, how amazing are women?!
I will say though - I’m glad I went into it without a ‘plan’ or expectations because I’m sure if I did, I probably would have been very disappointed.
I was sick from about 6 weeks, right up until I gave birth, I had pubic symphysis dysfunction from 19 weeks which became pretty severe towards 30 weeks to the point where I was unable to walk normally or without pain.
I had what they think was a hind water leak at 34 weeks and then my blood pressure was high, so I was pretty relieved when they made the decision to book us in for an induction.
I had a pretty rough pregnancy and I just wanted her earth side, and safe in our arms.
My induction failed the first time. I had 2 days worth of misoprostol and was feeling tightenings over both days and then unfortunately on the last day everything stopped. Ironically, my blood pressure was also normal the entire time we were in hospital… which was the whole reason for the induction. They decided to send me home for a rest day instead of opting for a more invasive induction method to avoid risk of infection due to my history of the leak. That was the best thing we could have done but man, was that an emotional roller coaster leaving the hospital without a baby like we expected. I cried the whole day, slept, and ate takeaways.
We then returned to Waitakere hospital the next morning and mentally I had decided to take the pressure off, realised it was all out of my control, and this little girl would come when she was ready. I had 3 doses of the medicine and my waters broke. After that it was all go and she was with us 10 hours later.
I was fully dilated when they checked me, which came as a surprise to them because the monitor wasn’t recording my contractions accurately because it kept slipping off my tummy, but I was so happy to know that. They then offered me the epidural to try and get me into a pushing position that was safe for my pelvis and try to avoid injuring it further. Luckily I could still feel my contractions and have really positive memories of pushing which I probably only did for about 15 minutes, and then Jesse and my mum caught her which was pretty special.
We went to birth care at Warkworth which made recovery pretty amazing... I remember Jesse referring to the team there as angels on earth, and I couldn’t agree more.
Are you happy with how much support you have had after giving birth? What do you think we, as a community, can do, to support new mamas?
I am so lucky to say that I have the most incredible village. Both mine and Jesses families have been supporting us every step of the way so we have never really felt alone. We also have amazing friends who have been so understanding and supportive as we find our way in our new roles as parents.
Plunket and our GP have also been an awesome support to us, especially because Belle has had some issues with her little tummy.
How did you cope with caring for a new baby during lockdown?
Honestly I feel guilty admitting it, but I loved it. Having Jesse share the newborn phase with us was so so special, I will forever be grateful for that time we had together.
Honestly, if we are lucky enough to have more babies, I think I’ll be totally shocked to what the newborn reality is for mums when they have to do it solo.
In your opinion, what is the best thing about being a mama?
The best thing is being her person. I’ve never felt such a strong purpose.
What has been the most difficult part?
The most difficult part is worrying about her constantly. I have a new intensified appreciation and adoration for my own mum!
It’s 2021, and the juggle is real for mamas and work. What are your plans around work/career and motherhood?
I planned to have an entire year off with her. I may decide to return earlier but I haven’t thought too much about that yet. I am just enjoying this precious time with my baby because I know it is going to go so fast.
What relationship advice would you give to couples who have a baby on the way or have recently had a baby?
I think communication in any relationship is key. We are open and honest with each other about what we need. We have established that it is really important for Jesses mental health to see his friends so I try to accommodate that as often as possible. Equally he knows that the weekend is the one time that I have an extra set of hands, so even being able to go to the supermarket or exercise by myself is invaluable to me!
We definitely had an argument or two to get to this point, but I think we are learning together and finding our way as mum and dad. We are actually going on our first baby free date tomorrow (thank you lockdown haha) and are so excited! I’m sure we will talk about her the entire time but I think it’s super important to make time for just us aswell.
What will be your essential newborn items if you decide to have baby number two?
For baby -
For mama -
Nice maternity bras, which are both supportive and pretty
A drink bottle with a straw
Frozen meals!!!
Do you have any other advice to give new mamas trying to navigate postpartum life?
I’m no expert and I am definitely still finding my feet but I would say to trust your gut, you are really all your baby needs.
Reach out when you need support, talk to family, friends or your health professional. People want to help and you are not alone even though it can sometimes feel like it. Enjoy your baby, every week is so different, they change so quickly and try to remember every stage is temporary so enjoy the good and be gentle with yourself during the challenges.
Dani’s instagram: @danihick_
I want to say a huge thank you to Dani for sharing her postpartum journey with us! I really enjoyed learning about her postpartum experience and she offers some excellent advice to other mamas.
I think we can all agree that Belle lives up to her name - she’s definitely a beautiful baby!
I loved hearing about how Dani surrendered to the birthing process and relaxed once she realised that Belle would come when she was ready. I think that’s a great analogy for motherhood in general - it’s so important to surrender to the seasons and go with the flow.
Dani and Jesse have an incredible village around them in raising Belle, which is exactly what they deserve. Dani also shared some really valuable advice, including how important it is to trust your gut and knowing that you are all your baby needs… it’s so true that everything we need to be an amazing mama is inside of us!
Thanks again Dani x
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